12-10-13

aujourd'hui c'est le neuf décembre deux mille treize

Today is December 9th, 2013.

/begin rant

So ever since October-ish, my neighborhood switched busses from the calm and quiet 16, to the ratchet and loud 63. Bus 16 ran a short route, a reasonable one. We picked up many, but it was people around where we live. Bus 63 drives all the fucking way to a different fucking school district. No. That's not okay.

Today was a normal day. My mother was angry at me, so I went to take the bus. I leave at 6:25 in my winter coat. I walk to the bus stop, which is thankfully rather close to my house. I wait for 5 minutes and someone shows up. It's getting close to 6:40, and no bus. We bitch and complain a bit more, by this time out numbers doubling so we had four people. At 6:43 the bus driver comes. We happily shove each other out of the way for the warmth of the bus. Which feels like heaven. At first.

So we pull out and we look at the main road. 256. It's like rush hour. Why do they even call it that? NO ONE IS RUSHING. EVERYONE IS GOING .00000001 nanometers an hour! So me and my neighbors are just sitting here. At 7:05 we are normally at school. At 7:05 we are 5 minutes away from our stop. Did I mention we have to drive to a different school district area? Yeah, our route is stupid.

We drive all the fucking way there. It takes two fucking hours. The heat goes out halfway there. Two fucking hours in, we haven't even gotten to the first stop. I was so bored. So. Bored. I even started texting my mom.

So we get to the stop and one guy gets on. So we get to the next stop and a few more people get on. Suddenly we stop. We are suddenly accepting Jr High students on our bus now because the Jr High busses are late.No! We were here first assholes!

But anyway we go back to get them Jr high kids. So we finally head back to school. We are all sitting 3 to a seat and 90% of the people on here are stereotypical ratchet black people. They are all wearing this nasty shit ass perfume /cologne and are all loud. Someone tried to start a fight with a girl sitting with me. Gooood.

I got to Bio class and everyone looked at me like: Where have you been? I thought you were skipping school!

OH YES I WAS JUST HAVING A GRAND OL TIME!!

P.S: while all this was happening, a school district 10 minutes away from us closed

So yeah. That's why I wasn't in a good mood.

We also had an orchestra concert today, and we rocked it. But of course jazz band took our show. Everyone loves band and not the orchestra or choir. Who can blame them. Band people have "everything" and are "better than everyone else, especially the orchestra" the "trumpets are the best instrument and require the most effort". 

I will burn all your instruments and burn them in hell. They will soon be met with your bodies. See you then.

Last minute, my teacher decided they should shove the chamber out to play. So me and my partner awkwardly find our way down. Everyone looks at us in a very confused manner as the 9 chamber members go down to play. While we are playing, a wave of anxiety hits me and my knees are shaking just like old times. Parents of the band, choir (symphonic and woman's), chorale and the huge orchestra itself. Watching. Me. I used to be able to shake it off. Why would they watch me? But I felt so vulnerable. Sigh. So, after we play, we calmly walk out of the room, leaving the auditorium. My teacher tells us the orchestra is playing next so all of a sudden everyone is sprinting in their heels. Me and my partner have to go around the huge curtain in the back, our heels slamming against the theatre floor. We basically shove everyone's stand aside cause our teacher put us in the front.

And that's my day.

Important Dates To Remember:

- 12-11-13: ITK PRACTICE

- 12-12-13: ITK COMPETITION

- 12-13-13: CHAMBER PRACRICE

- 12-14-13: ITK TOURNAMENT

- 12-20-13: Blaegan's Anniversary.. Also chamber performance and start of winter break. Also the day addy leaves.

- 12-25-13: Christmas

- 12-29-13: Anna's Birthday

12/2/13

This past week hasn't been doing myself justice; I can say that now. But I've been getting by, and I'm happy to say that (meanwhile typing this: omf an episode of meganebu comes out today!! Shit I have to type) with two good friends, many, many teen romance books on wattpad written by amazing authors, and a very gruesome book, I've been getting by!

It's nothing new to me that high school, for the most part, is going well. If you're a dedicated reader, you would know that even on the day before school, the only thing I was worried about was my locked not opening. For the record- it opened first try. I've met so many amazing people this year, due to my extreme involvement- I suppose- in a lot of activities.

In 7th grade I did summer gym (just for the Creds) and met a LOT of high schoolers. But I became close to Scarlet and Maggie the most. Turns out Scarlet is the president of the one and only Anime Club! (good for her, she deserves it!)

Another one of the Anime Club members, Selena, I met through In The Know. I also met Hillary, Selene, Mica and Maya (who I will probably be very upset about when they graduate this year.. But good luck! <3). 

In The Know is the best club I could ask for. I really like the people there, and we are really just a group of "nerds" who know a lot of things about random things.. (tHEREEEES HYDROGEN AND HELIUM, THEN LITHIUM BERYLLIUM, BORON CARBON EVERYWHERE NITROGEN ALL IN THE AIR AND OXYGEN SO U CAN BREATHE -coughs- Nevermind.) And I couldn't ask for better club advisors. Honestly. jUST LIKE A HOURGLASS, THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES! (Soaps have finally become useful!!)

Orchestra. A group of.. Ffs. At least 30 people. Maximum around 60. We have mostly all been together since the 6th grade, though there are those seniors and juniors who we never have really met. I really do like Orchestra, it's fun to talk to everyone there. Well, most of the people. (Viola swag represent!) Ugh but when the band people freaking. Take over the room. iTS SO FUNNY TO WATCH THE TEACHER YELL AT THEM TO LEAVE. oh you band fuckers never learn. I mean I have my friends that are in the band, but some inSTRUMENTS OMF.

The percussion guy that plays with the orchestra sometimes is hot. But his attitude is shit XDD.

Chamber. A group of 8-10 individuals who are dedicated and/or auditioned and past musicians within orchestra. I'm so glad to see that I'm neither the only freshman or the only viola! The only viola- a senior I believe named Heather is a rather strong player and it's an honor being with her. :) Everyone has that certain flair they add to the group!

I've been avoiding drama well this year so far. eXCEPT JENNA AND ANAND ALWAYS KISS IN FRONT OF ME FOR FUCKS SAKE! sTOP! Waaaaah!

But for reaaaal. Maegan hates drama. Ffs. Last year was awful.

There's this girl who is friends with another one of my friends- definitely one of my closest friends. Will call the first girl FU and the other girl, who is my friend, LU.

So. LU and FU were bff's looooong before I talked to LU. And suddenly around this fall, FU came up to me and was like "F U! (Hahahahah) You stole my best friend from me! She was the only person I cared about except for my boyfriend and a few others! ( yeah that makes sense!)" annnnyway, she basically went on and on and on about how I'm rude, careless and similar stuff. She really makes me angry. And depressed, but I try not to think about it. If she is trying to get me down, then that means I'm above her.

We had a fight this weekend, FU And I. I didn't reply to one of her messages and she blew up. Became absolutely insane. I figured FU already told LU about it, and considering I always think they are really close, I didn't say anything. LU and I talked shortly after though, and she understood what I said, and more importantly believed me. I'm blessed for every friend I have.

However, on a sad note, one of my friends named Maddi, left a rather strange message about leaving. I thought the worst of course, but I'm trying to push that out of my mind.

I guess an important way to sign this off is that I love my friends. Every singular one of them.

I love you, Anna and Dan.

I don't know what I could do without both of you, considering both of you have helped me so much.

Anna, we will turn you into that brave girl. I know we can. You're beautiful, and I want you to know that c:

Dan, happy early anniversary c; 

Signing off,

Holli c:

The Reasoning of Humans

When some receive compliments they smile and give their thanks, but others reply with modest and haste.

"Why would they compliment I, if clearly thy am not worthy of praise?"

Why is it that our minds don't respond well with compliments, we deny them, say it isn't true.

Some call it modesty, but I, you ask?

I call it self doubt. Lack of self confidence.

But when another points out our flaws, we are deeply scarred.

But why I ask, if one is so much more positive than the other?

Isn't it better to be positive, to be optimistic and look at the world with a smiling face?

Yes! Of course! But it's also harder.

Why would we try hard to believe that something is good about ourselves when instead we can agree with the dark voices in our head?

Why is it that when a close friend compliments you it has a weaker effect on you then a stranger critiquing you?

Is it because you think your friend is lying? But your friend wouldn't lie! Is it because you are self-doubting yourself?

You don't think your pretty, but your friend does. This other person says you aren't pretty. And you break down because you think this person is right. But your friend said you were pretty.

Your friend knows you better than that stranger. He or she has been with you so much longer. Knows so much more.

So why can't we, as humans listen to these compliments, be them from close friends or strangers?

I think it has to do with the voices in our head, the monsters under our beds. Our self doubt lurking behind us.

"How could I, a corrupted soul possibly be a good friend, a star athlete, a smart student or beautiful?"

How could you? By believing in yourself and those compliments. People don't just hand out compliments for the heck of it. They mean those words! Just think, honestly, how hard is it for you to give someone a compliment? Even a friend? What about someone of the opposite gender? It's difficult for most.

So when someone gives you a compliment listen up. They aren't lying. Push back those voices, let the compliment kill off some of the monsters.

The only thing holding you back from achieving your greatness and fate is yourself. And if you say you can't, or if you don't have time to put all this effort into changing your mindset, you're lying. There's a difference between not having time and choosing not to do it. So what are you waiting for? Achieve your greatness!

Remember from my Mission Statement that Christopher Columbus quote? If not, go read that post.

I'm glad I finally got some post out. It makes me happy to write about these. Let out my inner writer and poet.

Anyway, stay strong. You're beautiful, everyone that's reading this.

Ahh leave a comment on here. Even if you email me or chat me that you liked my blog post, I would really like some feedback on here!! But I guess any feedback is better than none ehehe. >w<

- Holli

Dear Diary,

It's getting harder to smile.

I've had my fill with sinking..

My Mission Statement

Live life to the fullest.

Be brave.

Speak up.

Never give up.

“You can never cross an ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Christopher Columbus

“Never give up trying to do what you want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, you cannot go wrong.” – Anonymous

“Before you talk, listen. Before you react, think. Before you criticize, wait. Before you quit, try. ” – Anonymous

“You’re time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinion drown out your own voice. And most important, have the courage to follow you’re heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. - Steve Jobs

“For every time that, they want to count you out.. Use your voice, every single time, you open up your mouth. Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls, every time that you lose it, sing it for the world! Sing it from the heart, sing it ’til you’re nuts, sing it out for the ones that’ll hate your guts! Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind, sing about everyone that you left behind. Sing it for the world, sing it for the world.” – My Chemical Romance

These quotes explain my beliefs and ideals. The first one is rather motivating to me, for I’m someone who always likes to take the ‘safe’ route. I haven’t taken many risks in my life. This quote tells others to get out of their comfort zone, for that’s how you reach your goals. Growing up I’ve heard many stories from my parents about how all they wanted was for me and my brother to grow up with more opportunities than they had, and for us to become more successful. They had always wanted me to get a high-paying job, but when I asked them the question: “What if I have a medium paying job, but I like the job? Is that better than a high paying job that I don’t like?” They responded with something similar to this quote. They told me to never give up what I wanted to do, because if I really wanted to do it, I would find a way. The next quote is something I like to use daily, for in this day and time, people often make silly mistakes by being a reactive person. Lashing out and hurting others, most of the time without realizing it. I strongly believe all of these, especially the last part. ‘Before you quit, try.’  I used to be a person who, if things weren’t going well, I would give up. I had many bright ideas, but I never took action with them, because I didn’t think I was good enough- or that I would fail in the end. The fourth quote, which was said by Steve Jobs, is something that I would’ve gone back and told my younger self. When I was younger, I was always a follower, willing to do what someone said. I might have had better ideas, or contradicting opinions, but I never spoke up. Even when I did, I let people talk over me. People’s opinions were better than mine. But my mom told me last year that I should believe in my own opinions. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? I didn’t want my life to be controlled by someone else’s, and because of that, I felt a lot stronger. Sure, some people don’t like others with strong opinions. But another quote by Winston Churchill has said makes me believe that this is okay. The quote is: “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” The final quote is from a band called My Chemical Romance. This song is basically about how you should stand up for yourself, and not to let others talk over you. Like I said above, I always let people talk over me when I was younger, but this is bad. Your opinions are just as important as others, and therefore you have to speak up about them.

My mission statement, in a conclusion is to live life to the fullest. Be brave and follow your heart, and not be afraid to take risks. I will speak up about the things I believe in. I’m going to get here by remembering these. I won’t give up, and I’ll finish everything I start. I won’t be afraid to start a project because I’m not afraid to take risks. I’ll live life the best I can by following my heart. In the end, it’s not how many breaths you take.. It’s how many moments take your breath away. 

Tidbits

It has been a while... Tennis season is now over, but I've had so much fun on the team c:

I'm currently getting A's and B's in all of my classes, and I'm very pleased with the effort I put in and get out of school. I have many new friends, and it's great.

I am in the In The Know team, joining Anime Club and I'm trying out for Chamber. In the Know is basically a high school jeopardy, only you work with a team. Our first game is next week and I'm so excited. I don't think I'll be on Varsity for it, but I'm hoping for a spot on JV c:

Chamber is a small group of advanced orchestra players. To be honest, I didn't really want to join, but my teacher and my mom encouraged me, so I will try out. To be honest, I can hardly play the chamber piece and I don't think I'll make it. However, if I do I will be very happy c:

I would really like to point at my new successes in Language Arts, where my writing has gotten me a 95% to above 100% !! I'm super excited because most teachers don't like my writing. Hopefully I'll keep it up!

After a rather big tragedy for me in June and July, I never thought I would be able to have friends again, for the girl I thought was my best friend basically said I made her follow me, and made her feel worthless. The words hurt me so badly, because all I ever wanted was her to be happy.

However, with my new friends and stronger connections with older ones, I feel a lot better. Anna, you have always been there for me. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you earlier. We were just two people on deviantArt, but once I got started talking to you, you were so funny. We talked about Hetalia and our sexy bby Switzerland. We started talking even more on Chatango, joined roleplays together and everything. Whenever I'm sad you always cheer me up, and beyond that you make me smile and laugh everyday. I truly know what friendship is because of you. People can laugh at our relationship, or call it weird. But I'll just grin and laugh back because no one will ever have a bond like ours. And no one will have a friend like you. We can just talk about anything together, because there is no judging, and we understand each other. To be honest, I'm not sure what I would do without you. Maybe I would still be the girl who an emotionless shell, lurking in the corners. The loner I always was.

It's true that every door that closes opens a new one. Just sometimes, those doors are hidden.
But behind the hidden doors? A greater land than Narnia.

You are the best person in my life.

You always will be.

Thank you.

School

I lololove high school C: it's so much fun

That is all

Wheowr School

bus ride is great

mm what can I say

-6:53

okay finally people are talking 

-7:07

Mkay so I was busy like all day so idk the times

But first I have language arts

With like 3-5 of my good friends

Then French with 1-2

Then biology with 1, but probably 2 soon

Then orchestra ( everyone in orchestra is friends )

Then lunch with like 5 of my friends 

Theeeeen. Algebra 2 with 0 of my good friends. A few people from the tennis team though.

Then.. Computer Graphics with no people I even know xD

Then History with like 1-3 good friends

School - The Night Before

So. Just chillin in my bed.

I'm FREAKING out.

Not just because of Whodunnit.

I'm not unmasking the killer because maybe one of you readers is just about to watch the last episode idk.

I so called it though.

Anywho, I'm not even worried about getting lost, or my classes- not yet at least. IM FREAKING OUT ABOUT MY LOCKER- IDK IF IT WILL OPEN

-10:09 PM ;; August 18

School

Hello fellow readers! So, school probably has already started, or is getting ready to start for you guys. For me, school starts tomorrow- August 19th.

This will be my first day in high school! And of course you know I will blog about it!! If you do watch my YouTube Channel, AccompanyPolaris, I apologize once more for the lack of videos. My parental controls on the computer make it practically impossible to edit a video and upload it in such a short amount of time. However, I urgently want to make a video, so I'm trying!

Recently I haven't been able to sleep as much. Maybe it's because I've been going into physiological, wise Maegan a lot recently. Maybe it's because I have inspiration running through my veins.

Maybe it's because I want someone to finally notice me for who I am. Someone who can look past my fake smiles and see the girl who needs someone.

Maybe it's because I'm over thinking everything.

Nonetheless, I'm really stressed about school. School used to be so easy for me, until I realized how much stress is put on me to do well- along with the challenging courses.

Freshman year I want to take it slow. I don't want any drama like I had last year. Surprisingly, no boy drama last year. Usually the drama is boys and then friends. For normal people. But for me it was friends and then boys. 

The only boy trouble that I had was when Kayden and Hayden moved away. Still can't believe they left. For those of my new readers, Kayden was sort of my boyfriend, and Hayden was his younger brother.

I say sort-of because. I'm too shy to admit it. >n>. 

Kayden was a 'bookie' as my friend Courtney called him. He read books. A lot. But he played Lacrosse and participated in XC. He also played violin. Knew some German and was overall a pretty damn smart student. 

My parents didn't really know about him though. o.o"

Still confused about how they didn't know.

Oh well.

Layslie asked me a few days ago if I would date anyone this year after my 8 month thing with Kayden.

I said probably not, but things change. Y'know?

Just please no drama this year.

Please

Please

Please

--

Peace out, stay strong, and remember: YOLO.

Anime Promotion: Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club

Love this anime. Not only is it packed with stunning sexy and handsome males, each has their own adorable personality, and the end song is catchy as fuck.

Let me tell you a bit.

Haruka is obviously the main character. He's pretty sexy. His hair flips, hot damn. He loves water, mackerel and pineapple. If there's a pool, he's in. He swims free.

Maka (yay nickname) is fucking adorable. He's that one helpful nice guy that most people would overlook, especially since his best friend is Haruka.

Nagisa is the cutest. But he is secretly all about the sex. (Headcanons) I love him!!

I'm not going to say anything about the other characters, or the plot because I don't give away spoilers in promotions.

[ by the way if you're reading this and you watched episode 6, the feels ]

My Summer In A Nutshell

So as I'm laying here at 10:24 PM, my window open and the cool air entering my room, I can hear miscellaneous creatures calling each other. For though I don't live near the 'country', I can still see some stars and feel like I do live there. Maybe it's the deer and coyotes that walk by the river. Maybe it's the rusted hunting traps. Or maybe it's nights like these where I stay up listening to the calls. And all I can think about is how in the movies, when boys come to throw rocks at your window and the girls are all pissy.. Wouldn't it be great to lay on the grass somewhere with someone you like? To not even talk, but let the quiet sounds of calls fill the air between you?

Anywho. That's not my summer. Maybe some lucky girls'.

My summer has been mainly uneventful until mid-July, where everything picked up. One day I'm doing nothing except chores and using the computer, the next dripping sweat at Tennis Conditioning. Hard work indeed. It was like a miniature boot camp. And for those here that are about to go complain about how you have to work soooo much harder, shut your bloody trap. I don't want to hear it. After that grueling hour and a half I went home, showered, sung my heart out. Watch any shows on. Usually Masterchef on Wednesday and Castle re-runs whenever they turn on. (OMG I hear coyotes howling! It's so beautiful. I think if someone heard them, they would understand why one day I want to live in the country. And.. They are gone again. Coyotes are whispers on the wind where I live..)  I can't wait until Once Upon A Time (new season) comes on.

Somewhere between the start of Conditioning and the beginning of August was when I won my tennis trophy. First place with my partner, Alex. Still proud of both of us. Of course, I was still not on the high school tennis team yet. I was still trying out!

Tryouts were rough, but not as bad as conditioning. Not as many insane exercises, more tennis. I played a new person every day, and what can I say? It was great. I really admire this one girl named Taylor, who doesn't deserve to only be on JV. Her dedication and skill should have landed her a Varsity spot, but Varsity is packed with amazing people.

There's this one girl who hates me on the JV team. No idea why. The only reason I can think of is because I beat her in Junior High. She really is a cheater though. Calling things out when they aren't. The spot she has is undeserved, but as long as she does well it's good for the team.

I did make it on the JV team, if you were wondering. Though my rank, I believe should be third singles, I'm happy wherever my coach places me. Even if my mom thinks second doubles is trash compared to first singles, it's all the same. The rank is just an ego boost. If you win first singles you win one point for the team. If you win second doubles you win a point for the team. What's the difference? I wish people would understand that. When people do, things will become a lot less complicated.

I started writing this blog just because one of my friends had one. But now.. Now I realize that this is a spot for me to collect how I feel. I often ramble off, go from one thought to the next until I can't remember what I was thinking of originally. Here I can be an honest person. My blog won't judge me, even if my readers (if any) might.

I guess that everyone expects me to type a little romance in each blog post, but I think that job was done earlier. But some little tips for guys.

- Most girls don't have a favorite song for no reason. Their favorite song represents them. And if they have many favorite songs? It simply means that they are complicated and aren't sure what to think.

- By sending her those messages while she is gone, or little good morning messages, it brings a little smile to her face.

And that's it I guess. I'm not sure why or how I became such a hopeless romantic. But it's good that I can help other people with their relationships.

I Don't Know What This Is

So.. It's been a while. It's been a while.

How are you guys? C:

This blog post is going to mainly about love and life, so if you don't really want my hopeless romantic mushy stuff that's probably going to be in it. Shoo. GET OUTTA HERE.

I was watching Hotel For Dogs yesterday, and anyone who knows me well enough know that I'm a huge baby for sad things. I cried through it. Not really. Almost cried at a few points.

But in the movie, two dogs fall in love in like an instant. Like.

I know I'm no fancy poodle named Juliet but. That is just cruel.

In life, I guess, you are supposed to learn from your mistakes. Some so, some don't.  Some try to, but end up making the same mistake. So I want to tell you a story.

A story of a young girl named Holli. Holli had.. everything she wanted. Friends, her siblings, an education and a few extra events like archery, horseback riding, along with a few singing, dancing and other events. Yeah, she had it all.

But with the terrifying death of her idol and best friend Hector in a terrifying car accident, she lost herself.

She was no longer that happy girl, who could just laugh and not feel herself falling. And sure. It looks like nothing has changed. She still laughs, to this day. Holli is 16 years old, and she has learned well. That smile that she wears all the time, bringing happiness to those who don't know her. A laugh that brings smiles to others.

Sure, she has her haters. But in her mind its all the same. Everyone has their opinions. But in the end, it is what you think of yourself. If you think you are some shy shut-in that no one wants to talk to, you'll become that person. You will literally put SO much stress because of that image that you'll become it.

So when Holli looked at her idol. Her brother and best friend. She wanted to bring other people smiles, even if she didn't feel happy. And so Holli did. Holli is my idol. She is selfless, strong and brave. Many people say we are similar, and indeed we are. But there are differences.

Holli.. Is like my long-lost sister from England. Her second-oldest and one of her best friends Italian-born Vito, makes it easy for Holli to spill her feelings. It troubles Holli to see that Vito almost never laughs and smiles, not like he did when he was younger. When Vito was younger, he was so carefree.

Holli desperately wants to give him back his happiness. And she is willing to give up herself for that cause. Because even though Vito is practically the closest person to Holli that is alive, she is selfless enough to put him in front of her.

I could.. never do that. The idea of having a best friend that knows me, and then giving them up pains me. I just.. Can't imagine it.

But on a happier note, two of my good friends- Shay and Chelle. Which now have the pet name of 'Shaychelle' which sounds like a Southern version of sea shell. Courtesy of yours truly.

Shay is the most adorable guy ever. He is somewhat shy, but has a great sense of humor. A good singer and pianist too.

Chelle is a sweet girl, who has the most adorable fashion sense. One of the best singers on my team.

Both of them have had secret crushes for like 5ever. And finally Shay asked her out. I swear everyone in the club literally had some kind of over dramatic thing to do. Even Matt, who honestly couldn't care about relationships, said, "FINALLY."

I have been bugging him about if for a long time.

And yeah.

Peace out.

Remember, YOLO.

Stay strong and don't get yourself down.

HolliKyo/AccompanyPolaris

-

chew tobacco chew tobacco chew tobacco spit

Ho Hum

My loves how are you? Assuming that any of my Canadian friends read this get on chatango I miss you guys so much :C I missed Courtney's birthday, fuck me. Sorry love. I would've done anything to have talked to you. :C remember stay strong peace out and yolo Talk to you all later, Holli Kyo Maegan Lloyd AccompanyPolaris

You

Meeting you was luck, Becoming your friend was the best. But falling in love with you? That was completely against my will. Cute little thing to start off the day~. If life leaves you high and dry, I'll be by your door tonight ~♪ gosh i love that song ask.fm/HolliKyo

Uwaaahh! Sorry for hiatus!

So I have time limits again so you probs won't see much of me.. Sorry for that, my loves. Remember I'm always willing to reply to emails and comments;; hollikyo@gmail.com

Life

Life is a funny little thing, isn't it? With odds way of showing it's ups and downs. Some say they don't commit. But that is just because they are clowns. What's life, if you let go? I guess you could say that it's just a show. But why is it so hard to do so? Because humans are meant to hold on. Fearless, brave, tenacious. Is that what we are meant to be? Some say we are put here to help others. Some say we are put here because a higher-up willed it. Life is based on belief, Right of wrong, True or false. Isn't that so? But doesn't it seem that there is no black or white area anymore? Isn't there always a 'what if this happened' or 'maybe' this and that? What happened to our definite answers? Did they disappear with our freedom? Take this day to think, friends. Try not to assume, just for today. And let others guide you. Just for today my stars. Tomorrow, will be a new day.

Transformice

The best game ever o-o. I love it so much. I recommend it for everyone C: There are a lot of mean people on there, calling others noobs and such, so hopefully you can learn the basics before joining. Come and join and make Transformice a nicer, better place C: http://www.transformice.com/ Want to come play with me? My username is HolliKyo

Goodbye

Just a little poem. Copyrighted to me, of course.

Goodbye is such a.. sad term. The secret meaning, that is. For when someone says goodbye.. you know not what to expect. I suppose a better term would be 'later' or 'see you soon'. But bye? Oh bye.. The end is too soon.

-Me; Maegan Lloyd

!!!

Olay! So I was checking my blog reports and apparently, the Us is not the only country that views it! I was so amazed when I found people from Russia, Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands and many other countries!! So thank you all so much and please continue to view my blog!

Hollywood by RAC

So, one of my friends, is like.. a music person. If you want a song just go to him. Seriously o-o. Ah, I guess I should dedicate this to a person I know. The accuracy of this song is a bit insane. But it's not depressing at all. It's a fun little hip-swishing summer song. And I love it C:

Note: I will be posting an embed from YouTube with this song. Knowing my blog, it should interrupt with another song. Please scroll to the bottom page to play the song and then scroll back up for the lyrics. I don't want any comments saying, 'Oh, you're talking about me.' Because it's probably not true. This is for someone else.

--
I'm not telling you again, what you need
It's just a slap around.
To make everything stop, and cure the fall.
When you come back around.
I'm not everything you want,
I'm just a tease.

Maybe a matter of touch,
You could tell me what you want, I'll give it to you.
Maybe you think too much,

Cause you're Hollywood, you never should..
We never talk anymore,
With your high heels on,
You kill the sun.
I'm not your friend anymo-o-o-o-o-o-ore..

-Hip swishes-

I'm so sick and tired,
Of everyone telling you what you want..
I could never keep track,
Who's gonna come,
When you start waving your magic wand,
And you seem to forget, everything that you said,
Before you had it written for you,
There's too much going on that you need to belong to,
It's the only thing you know how to do..

Cause you're Hollywood, another world,
You made it all on your own.
With your high heels on,
You kill the sun.
I'm not your friend anymo-o-o-o-o-o-ore..

-Hip swishes still-

You went to Hollywood to make it...

Hollywood, you never should,
We never talk anymore,
With your high heels on,
You kill the sun.
I'm not your friend anymo-o-o-o-o-o-ore,
Not your friend anymore, 
Not your friend anymore, 
Not your friend anymore, 

Not your friend anymore, 
Not your friend anymore, 
Not your friend anymore.

Gone.. Gone... Gone. { PruCan Oneshot }

The following PruCan fanfic is based on a few headcanons that I have found. The major one being that Prussia fade for a few minutes every day and it gets longer and longer. The second is more of a minor one, where Prussia hides his feelings behind fake smiles. The only two that can see behind the smile is his lover and his brother- Germany.

The following oneshot is big on feels. I basically started crying two paragraphs in. This beats my other PruCan story's sadness by over 9,000. It is also copyrighted to myself. The characters belong to the creator of Hetalia, and the song "Gone, Gone, Gone" is by Phillip Phillips.

(The story is in third person, but we mostly only get shots out of how Prussia feels.)

Prussia let out a shaky sigh, right hand in his silver hair. He was fading. He closed his eyes and started counting. When he was done, it was 10 minutes before he came back. The albino swallowed nervously. His eyes watered slightly. He didn't want to go, he didn't want to leave. He had his lover, and- and friends. Even people he would never call his friends, but still were none the less!

A slight knocking at the door and a worried, almost-feminine voice. "Gil?" It questioned. He felt a small wave of sadness. He didn't want to lose that voice. That- That sweet voice that charmed him when he hear it. "Canada, I'll be right out." He felt the Canadian's hesitation. "Gil, are you okay?" 

No! No, I'm not okay! I need to tell you something. In a few weeks I'll be nothing. Not even you will be able to see me! His inside screamed. "I'm fine, birdie," he said confidently. "You worried, mein liebe?" He heard a small chuckle, "I'll make lunch," his lover said gently.

Prussia put on a fake grin and said in a fake hapy tone, "Alright~," But when he heard footsteps walking away he broke down. He slowly fell to his knees and cried, hands over his face. Why did this have to happen. "I don't want to go.." He mumble under his breath. "I can't.." Feeling a slight presence over him he looked up, red eyes widening.

It was Canada, an angel coming to help him. "C-Canada, I think I'm allergic to something in here," he lied. Canada just shook his head. Prussia put on a fake smile, looking dumb with the tears running down his cheeks. Canada gripped his hand lightly. The albino groaned, closing his eyes. Matthew looked at him curiously. "Gil, why are you crying?"

Gilbert took a long time to process. He was crying. He was dying, the end near and he was crying. Not YOLOing things with his best friends. He let out a strangled laugh. Canada looked at him curiously. "Talk, Gilbert." That voice.. So gentle an encouraging, why did no one ever pay attention to Matthew. Gilbert just looked sadly at Mattie. "Gil!!" Canada said, near to tears.

"Dammit Gil! Just tell me what it is!!" Gilbert flinched as Canada spoke, noticing how fast the words were. His lover, nervous and scared. It was his fault, all his fault. "Mattie, I don't want to go!" He whimpered, tears coming faster now.

He barely heard Canada's voice over his crying. "Gil, if you don't have to go somewhere you don't want to.." Gil started laughing, the sound so broken that Matthew felt his own sadness come out. "Liebe, I have to go. Death wants me." Reddish-violet eyes looked into a blueish-purple. Perfect opposites, yet so perfect together. 

He saw the widening of the others eyes. Canada opened his mouth dumbly. "Prussia you aren't going to die soon!! You're so strong!" The smaller man protested, his grip on Prussia's hand nearly deadly. But then suddenly, it was nothing. Canada blinked.

"See!!" Prussia cried, voice broken a long time ago. "I'll be gone in a few weeks!"

Very slowly, tears came from Matthew's eyes as he threw himself at Prussia. He started crying into his chest. "N-No!! You can't be sure yet!!" Was the Canadian's muffled cry.

Gilbert gently ran his hands along the others spine, feeling the different ridges. He needed to remember this feeling. He needed to remember each and every thing about his lover. His boyfriend, his everything.

"I'm sure.. Can we just spend the rest of my days like this? Please? When I go, you need to be by my side." He felt frantic nodding on his chest. Sad indigo eyes looked into his as the Canadian looked up. "Gil, I would never leave you."

Canada started of slowly, "When life leaves you high and dry.. I'll be at your door tonight. If you need help, if you need help.. I'll shut down the city lights. I'll lie, I'll cheat, I'll beg and bribe.. To make you well.. To make you well."

Prussia looked curiously at him, but didn't say anything. He hung onto every word. Every day Canada sung a bit of the song to him.

Everyday, until the day came Prussia could feel the end of it coming. He knew he would fade forever. And never come back. Live on this world, but never be recognized. He couldn't imagine how Canada lived in such similar ways for so long.

Prussia laid on the couch, aware of the Canadian's hand gripping his. Canada started singing, singing all of the parts from all of those days.

"When life leave you high and dry.. I'll be at your door tonight. If you need help, if you need help.. I'll shut down the city lights. I'll lie, I'll cheat, I'll beg and bribe.. To make you well.. To make you well. When enemies are at your door, I'll carry you away from the war. If you need help.. If you need help.. Your hope dangling by a string. I'll share in your suffering, to make you well.. To make you well." Canada's voice cracked, Prussia urging him on.

Canada paused, and Prussia, knowing the song realized by the murmuring that he was modifying the song.

"You gave me reason to believe, that you would do the same for me.. And I'll do it for you, for you.. Gilly, I'm not moving on, I'll love you long after you're gone. Fo you, for you, you'll never sleep alone.. i love you long after your gone, and long after your gone, gone, gone.."

Prussia started to fade, sending Canada in a crazy race to finish the song. He got close to the ending, broken voice slowing. He stopped.

Gilbert opened his mouth. "Canada.. I love you. I want you to know I will always be here, protecting you as best as I can. Do you- do you understand me?"

Canada frantically nodded, crying. His tears fell on his and Prussia's hand. He gripped one hand between the two, holding them close to his chest.

"Finish the song.." Gil muttered.

So Canada did. "I love you long after you are gone. And long after you are gone.. gone... gone.."

Gilbert was only slightly aware of the parting kiss that Canada left him with. He was gone. He saw Canada crumpled up on the floor crying as hard as Prussia thought was possible. How could he have left the most important person in his life like that? He felt the transparent him slip down and hug Canada. Together they cried, one visible, the other not. 

END.

--

Omg I can't breathe. I'm laying down as I type this and my nose is clogged and I can't breathe through it. If you did cry, or even just feel sad, tell me where it started and how the rest of the story was. Emotionally and literately. This took about  45 minutes. I will put up the song on this fanfiction soon. Oh god.. I found this so sad. I guess because my worst fear is being forgotten or replaced. This story got real close to home. Some of you know what happened to my first boyfriend, and some of you don't. I don't want to talk about it, but this was practically exactly what happened. Except I didn't get a warning. I wish myself, Canada and Prussia the best of luck.

--

Epilogue;; Canada

Canada cried, but his cries stopped after feeling a presence around him. "Prussia..." He murmured, crying. "Prussia I miss you!! Why did you take him?!" He screamed, yelling up at whatever was up there. "Why do I get to keep going?! I don't want to keep going if he isn't there?!" Canada started crying again, too tired and sad to be angry.

--

Optional ending.

If you want this story to end like that, stop reading after this paragraph. This next part is basically the good ending. I couldn't stand this. Not at all. No. I won't allow it. But this part will ruin the feels of this story. And also the point. Perhaps you should quit and come back tomorrow. That way you can let the real story sink in. Anyway, here it is.

--

After he calmed down a bit, his rage down but his sadness still there, he turned. The presence. "Gil?" He said weakly.

But a voice came back. A broken.. So broken voice. "Mattie, I'm so sorry I had to leave I wish I was there- I wish I never-"

"GIL!!" Canada screamed, "GIL I CAN HEAR YOU!!" Canada looked around frantically, able to get up. The presence wasn't next to him. "Gil?"

"C-Canada.." A voice behind him. Canada turned, and he saw something. Something he never thought he would see again. His lover, Gilbert.

Canada cried more, running into Gilbert's arms like a child into his mothers. Gilbert hesitantly wrapped his arms around Canada, unsure himself.

"M-Mattie, they let me come back.. On two conditions.."

Canada looked up at Gilbert suddenly, urging him to continue. 

"No one.. But you can see me.. And.. I have to stay with you forever." It was clear he made the second part up, but Canada felt himself choke.

"Y-You did that for me?" Canada said softly.

"I would rather lose anything and everything than to lose you.." He murmured softly. Canada started crying harder, eyes and cheeks red and wet.

Prussia said softly and slowly. "Will you love me if I'm still here, here, here?"

Canada smiled through his tears, "Of course." Canada was surprised when he got gently pushed away.

Prussia slowly knelt on the floor, pulling out a small box from his pocket. He opened it, revealing a ring. A simple one, silver. "Will you marry me?"

Canada's eyes widened in shock. "Yes! Yes!" He cried.

Prussia got up and kissed Canada gently, withdrawing after a while. "I-I was going to ask you earlier, b-because Y-YOLO, but I didn't want us to be even sadder w-when I.."

Canada quickly placed a finger over Prussia's lips. "Don't say it. I love you, we're married, s-so lets not be sad." He said, even though he was crying. They hugged each other until both of their tears stopped.

--

THERE.

I'm crying way too much for this.

Goddammit! Morning why did you let me go along with this..

I love this so much at the same time though. To me it's a really heart-felt story. Then again, I wrote it. So yeah! Please write me a huge comment talking about how this story affected you. If you need help, here. Fill out everything. Anything with an *'s is optional.

What headcanons did I use?:

Did you cry?:

Where did you start crying?*:

Did you ever stop crying?*:

Did you automatically go to the happy ending?:

Are you glad that I did the happy ending?:

Would you have preferred the story without the happy ending?

Rate this story out of 10 (10 being the greatest) and please explain why:

Beta!!

Okay so as some of you know, I'm a beta tester for this one website. It's not open yet to the public but I'm super excited. I edit it practically every day, and it should be done by mid-July!!

Site editing is so much difficult and it's also real annoying but I landed it and I'm rocking it.

Suicidal Note;; June 17th 2013

No, this probably isn't a real suicide note. But another part of me has died.

Tonight me and my mother went to tennis, and I worked my hardest on 50 serves, 50 net and 50 forehand and backhand. Everything was jumps and slams. Along with butt tons of running. My mom said that we would go home after yet another 50 serves, so I did. But then I wasn't good enough. I did them again, doing whatever she said. But that wasn't good enough.

Of course it wasn't. I'm never good enough. For anyone.

So I left. I left the lake view courts on the hill to walk home, leaving my mom standing there.

I walked all the way past Chase when she came up behind and fucking slammed her horn like forty times. 

So I got in the car and she bitched all the way home.

I'm not good enough. I can never finish anything. I'm a selfish bitch, that can never finish anything. My brother was better and smarter. Everything I have to deal with knowing in my head, stated again for my sadness. 

My mom is always talking about how she wished she did other things. I don't want to be that when I grow up. I don't want her mistakes. I want a clean record.

Thank you, brother. You have made me strong. You always bowed down to mom. But I knew you were broken. I saw you cry when I was 8. You told me I ruined your life.

And ever since then I vowed to be stronger than my mom. I wanted to ruin her life. For ruining my brothers. For it was I that ruined his life. But my mother was the cause, and the effect. She fights her own words.

If I do cut for the first time tonight, this is the reason.

All of you guys at FS, Saint and Tiray especially, thank you so fucking much. Your words today meant everything. I never get encouraging words, all I get is bad ones.

If my dad compliments me, even to say that I'm pretty today, my mom literally looks at me and says, "Your face is oily, go wash it."

I just wish I was good for something instead of being a useless bitch.

I can't even try out for high school tennis anymore because my mom won't drive me to conditioning..

SC, we always say that the saddest thing we've ever heard, is someone singing while crying. The broken voice as they struggle to hit the right pitches. And as I listen to myself sing 'Blue Lips', I know we are right.

For Those People

Acknowledgements:

For those who love Asian Tea.

For those who taught me,

For those who educated me,

For my homes now.

For my first boyfriend,

For my oldest friend, my sister-in-law.

For my hubby.

And last but definitely the least,

The one woman that got me to all of these places.

Thank you, Ars.

Asian Tea, God, I miss you guys so much. Especially you, LinhTran.

For all of those who walk the night with silver roses, you guys taught me so much. Fucking love you guys, and though most of you are in FS, some of you aren't. I love you equally.

Those at ST, You completely taught me everything about roleplay details and that shit, that came off of what I learned at the place mentioned above.

Last night at FS, so many of you were so nice to me. I never expected anything like that from either of you, but I guess that was a dumb assumption. Everyone has that kind of part in them. I'm so glad that I'm here.

SC, At first I made this place just as a singing/dancing/both club just for fun, but you guys are so supporting. Not just for me but for everyone else. I wish we could get together more, but there's reasons for that.

Morgan, I would do anything to bring you back, you know that. I hope. You make me strong, and smart. I'm willing to fill in the place that you left, but I think it's better for everyone to remember you.

Courts, you have no idea how much you and Cody have helped me. You guys make me realize that there is always something else that I can do, some new thing to win. That someone always has it worse, and that not all people in Canada say 'eh'. You guys have made me laughed until I cried, and changed my crying to laughter. Courtney, I wish that you lived here, or better, I lived close to you. You would be the bestest person in my entire world. I wish that we could talk more, and fuck I'm crying during this. But fuck that shit. Maybe you will teach me how to ride horses in the next life. That certainly is something I want to do. Along with driving an ATV.

Ars, you have no idea what you have done with me. When Unwritten left me, and I found you in those wolfhome chats, I never expected this would happen. I entered simply because, "Oh yeah, I know this person!". But I'm so glad I did. You led me to my very first human-ish pack, and though you may regret it, its the best place I've ever been. You are an amazing person, Arsyia. Never forget that.

Rose, I'm adding you because I feel like you'll be like 'WHERE'S MY DEDICATION YOU BITCH HOE'. WELL HERE IT IS, BIATCH. Rose, you are so strong. I don't know about you that well, but I think I know enough to figure that you have problems. Because everyone does. Never let these get you down, or else I will poke you with a toothpick. Thanks for all the cookies and the very late birthday cake.

Gonna Get Over You by Sara Bareilles

Goodbye, Should be sayin' that to you by now, shouldn't I? 
Layin' down the law the I live by .. Maybe next time 

I've got a thick tongue, Brimming with the words that go unsung 
Simmer then the burn for someone, The wrong one 

I tell myself to let the story end, My heart will rest in someone else's hand 
My 'why not me?' philosophy began, And I say 


[Chorus] 
Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you? 
I'll be alright, just not tonight, 
Someday, heyyyy I wish you'd want me to stay 
I'll be alright, just not tonight, 
Someday 

Maybe is a vicious little word that can slay me,

 Keep me when I'm hurting you make me, 
Hang from your hands,

No more, 
I won't beg to buy a shot at your back door, If I acing it at the thought of you, what for? 
That's not me anymore,
(actually it is but this is like my favorite song right now so lets just go with it) 

I'm not the girl that I intend to be, 




I dare you darling, just you wait and see, 




But this time not for you but just for me, 


And I say, 
[Chorus] 
Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you? 
I'll be alright, just not tonight,
Someday, heyyyy I wish you'd want me to stay 
I'll be alright, just not tonight, 

Someday, say it's coming soon, 
Someday, without you, 
All I can do, 
Is to get over pass the ghost of you, 
Wave goodbye to me,

Won't say I'm sorry,
I'll be alright,
Once I find the other side of someday,

Ooh, how'm I gonna get over you? 
I'll be alright, just not tonight 
Someday, heyyy I wish you'd want me to stay 
I'll be alright, just not tonight, 
Someday..

Sara Bareilles - Gonna Get Over You Mp3
   
The ending though. xD

I Guess This Is Why It All Goes Wrong.

I HATE WRITING CAPITAL LETTERS FOR EVERY WORD BUT I THINK THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SPODA DO.

I never left you, that's for sure. I was always willing to make you number one, forgetting about most of my friends just to commit to you. If you are going to make a blog because you finished reading mine, leave a comment. Okay?

DERP, you were never third wheel when I was around.
You may've been third wheel because of DERP and DERP together, but never around me.
That's the way I felt.

I'm always so willing to hang out with you guys, but I either can't or you guys are busy.
I would do anything to fucking hang out with you guys. To understand KPOP so that way you guys won't push me out of the conversation.

And yes, I have expectations of you. I expect you to be a good student and good celloist because you work hard. You have it in you to do well. But you just haven't unlocked it yet.

You said that your mom never pushes you to do good work, or something similar. Well, here I am DERP, wanting you to do better, wanting you to excel. Wanting to go to college and become the job you want.

All I hear every day is how badly my mom wants a job that she likes. But she was unable to get it because her family was poor and couldn't get into college and she didn't get a full scholarship. She went to night school for 6 years, and still, can only get a job at the Postal Service. She cuts her fingers all day, and never even gets to sit down. Her boss is the most frustrating person she has ever met.

I just want all of my friends to have the good life. Yes, I pressure them. But it's only because I don't want them to be sad.

--
Obviously I censored out names because DERP.

Oh well, fuck me D:

My iPod cable doesn't work!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,

aaahhh.

Well what was it good for?
Never got free wifi.
Besides, I got the computer.
The computer is my biatch.

So I made a post on my iPod, Like I do every night when I don't have wifi.
I planned to upload it today but alas, my iPod is liek dead.

GOOD BYE INSTAGRAM.
AND KIK.
HOLY CRAP I'LL MISS YOU.
And Happy Street..
*sniff*

But fahk dat shat, I got TFM and and. FS, and and C:
Yeeeeeeeeeh..

OMG I WON'T BE ABLE TO TALK TO KOURTNEY
-drowns-

Realization

Realization is an ultimate thing in life. You realize things you haven't noticed before, maybe a clue in a cold case. You can realize that you have won a gold trophy, or realize you've been hurt. Realization is a neutral connotation, where it can be taken as either positive or negative, or somewhere in between. But this blog post is about my most recent realization. By the time you are done reading this, you may have the urge to go back to see how many times I said 'realize' or some sort. Because there will be a lot.

I had realized this earlier, but I didn't allow myself to accept it until the tenth. June tenth, 2013. Around 9:00-ish. Around 11 it got so much worse though. What am I talking about? Friendship.

Or in my case, the lack of it.

I don't have a best friend, I realized.

A best friend is someone who will always pick you over someone else. Someone who trusts you the same way you trust them. I always thought some people were my best friend, but they never thought of me the same way. All the countless weeks, months and years. And they still view me as a friend. Understandable, if you have severe trust issues. But there's a difference between trust issues and keeping the truth away.

I have many good friends, I won't deny it. And I love them for that. Jen, Jenna, Courtney. Cody. Kayden, Hayden, Layslie, Ashie and Shay. All of them from SC.

My closest person to a best friend would definitely be Layslie. But she lives so far away that I hardly get to see her. She is always willing to spend time with me no matter what.

I guess I just want to be someone's first pick. I don't need a boyfriend, I just want a friend that I can relate to. Someone that won't keep things to me. I never knew what it was like to be someone's number one, for no one has ever told me so. And if anyone dares tell me that they are my bestie, that's fucking bullshit. Well. Maybe. If someone tells me, I may realize it.

One of my.. Friends? I should say. I don't know what to call that person. The person would always say how they wished to be someone's number one. Lays and Tiff, you had this problem too. I'm glad I can say it straight to you. The person was my number one. But I was never recognized. Someone else was that persons number one.

That someone else was also my friend. I have been friends with them since the sixth grade. But whenever I'm around them, I can't talk about a thing. If I'm standing next to that someone else, as soon as that person steps in, I'm automatically forgotten, even in mid-conversation.

Fuck my life. Fuck that saying about turtles.

I'm a turtle on my back, and I can't get up. No one cares, and there isn't that one person that cares and flips me back over. For I'm in a desert.

I was left behind.

Because:

No

One

Cares

And that's my realization.

Sure, people care. I know that.

I respect that.

And I thank that.

But no one cares about me.

They care about my problems.

I blame one thing.

K-POP

If it wasn't for this.. Maybe I would still have friends.

Ah what am I saying.

They don't like me because they don't like me.

[ But K-POP is definitely part of it. ]

Soulmate

As I have said before, a soulmate is not necessarily a spouse or a girlfriend/boyfriend. In my mind, a soulmate is the perfect companion for your soul. A friend, a family member or even someone you don't know. However, many, many soul mates ARE the 'significant other'. Of course, I have different requirements for each. But for now, let me talk about my "perfect" boyfriend. 

He would have to have a good sense of humor- whether sarcastic or genuinely friendly. He would have to get along with more than 75% of my friends. He would also have to be somewhat intelligent. He has to be understanding and accepting. Since I'm an Aries-Taurus I often rush into things and I want him to take things slow. If I lash out, I want him to be calm and not yell back- which is difficult for anyone, not just males. He has to trust me, and I have to trust him. I also have to like his personality, which would probably be something like: kind, caring, slightly overprotective. He has to be open minded.

It would seriously help if he had good looks, was athletic OR musical. GENERAL TIP: Guys, girls love it when you are all sweet with little kids! By the way, hoodies are so cute- but no hands in the pockets!! Put your middle three fingers in either your front or back pockets.

Um, he can't be a hypocrite. No way am I spending any of my life willingly with another one. Jeez, I get enough from my mom. HE CAN'T BE CLOSED-MINDED!! I hate it when people aren't able to think about others or think about different points of view!

So, yeah, I'm picky. But honestly, I know one or two guys that fill these requirements. But seriously, hot damn I'm picky.

Hmm.

Well, please go and subscribe to my YouTube channel, PursuePolaris.

The Key Is In Your Heart

Please listen to the song 'My Wish' while reading this.

- - - - -

Nesq Dstgx.

Gk rtgnn lmt rure gh g keslt slytfglc tm ymu.

Wfy ngnlt ymu hurt tejj ur? Wsr tfjt tmm ngbbgdujt bmq ymu..?

Ymu rsy tfjt we leveq jfrteled.. 

Aut G tqgen. Sjj G wslt ymu tm ilmw gr tfst G tqgen. G ngn ky aert. Aut ky aert wsrl't cmmn elmucf.G wmujnl't ae ruqoqgren gb ymu bgcuqe tfgr mut. Gb ymu'qe qesnglc tfgr tfel ymu sqel't rtuogn. Leveq jet ymuqrejb aqglc ymuqrejb nmwl, bmq tfst'r jgie nqgliglc sdgn. Sln ymu nml't wslt sdgn estglc ymuq glrgner mut ultgj ymuq lmtfglc aut amler. Tfel tfe wmqkr dqswj gl sln mut- sln ojsy oglmdfje ml ymuq rlmut; aut tfst'r aergne tfe omglt.Lm amny gr oeqbedt, aut we sqe sjj wmqtf gt. Leveq srruke tfe wmqrt, aedsure tfeqe gr rmkemle mut tfeqe tfst dsqer tm sl extqekgty tfst ymu wgjj leveq aejgeve. Sln tfst rmkemle wgjj oqmasajy leveq tejj ymu. Sln tfst rmkemle gr ymuq rmujkste. Rmujkster nml't fsve tm ae ymuq romure, bgsldÈ mq bmq tfst kstteq, ymuq bqgeln. Gt'r hurt rmkemle tfst dmkojgkeltr ymu wejj. Tqy tm tfgli samut tfst aebmqe duttglc, tfgliglc samut dmkkgttglc rugdgne mq slytfglc ejre.Sjwsyr qekekaeq tfst tfeqe'r rmkemle wgtf ymu. Evel gb ymu leveq qesjgze gt.Aedsure G exoeqgelden bgqrt fsln wfst tfst'r jgie.

-Qslnmk pumter:

"Gb s bqgeln jmmir st ymu sln fster wfst tfey ree, ymu ilmw bgqrt-fsln wfst gt'r jgie tm ae ke."

- Regim/Rsqsf.

 Kmngbgen ay Jsyrjge.

--Ojesre jgrtel tm 'Ajue Jgor' sbteq qesnglc tfgr.--

Jmmiglc bmq slmtfeq rmlc? Tqy 'Ajeen' ay Fmt Dfejje Qse.

--Rtgjj feqe?

 

Motivational, JA?

#regram @courtsowerby

 LOOKATMYHUBBY

TELL ME HE ISN'T CUTE c:

Look at his shmile.

Then Kourtney was all like:

 

A One Direction quote from Liam. 

So true. And it can be in general.

Anyone who cares for anyone, a friend or a family member, if they get ignored it hurts like feck.