Here is your wake-up call.
I'm sick and tired of you saying that you're fine all the damn time. How about you realize that people fucking care about you. Do you WANT people to whisper and assume what's wrong? Because people are blaming themselves for YOUR sadness because you can't tell your damn friends what's wrong. "Nothing :)" Really. Then you're crying for no god damn reason. Because people cry when nothings wrong. That's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard.
When you do this, I honestly have no clue if you are actually sad, or if you just want pity. I know how awful your life is, but you can't just be going around saying nothing is wrong. That's just as bad as people saying what's wrong all the damn time.
If someone actually is close to recognize something is wrong, and your pretending your fine; you should at least say that you aren't. Even if you won't tell them what it is.
I know I'm being rude, but I tried to be nice with you for how many times? A. LOT. This is your wake up call. How are your friends supposed to help you if we have no idea what the hell is wrong with you?! And don't you even dare apologize. I don't want to hear you saying sorry. Every time you say sorry, I want five dollars. I'm serious. Bring money to school every single day if you plan on apologizing. I just want you to promise that you will fucking tell people that something is wrong.
If you cry, everyone will ask you what's wrong. So what's the point of saying nothing. If you cut, everyone will ask you what's wrong. And if I'm the only one who fucking notices that something's wrong before you show it publicly, then so be it. I don't even think about it anymore. I'm not going to keep bugging you about it if you tell me that 'nothing' is fucking wrong.
You always said you wanted someone to be your number one friend, and I hope you actually knew that I was your number one friend in sixth grade, but you picked Andi so much more. Then we started talking in eighth grade, and I was again. But you were too busy trying to get as many acquaintances as you could, that you practically disregarded me at some times. And I realize that you "don't get to talk to them after school," but honestly, if you wanted someone to be your closest friend, you have to freakin' commit to them the MOST. Maybe you have one, maybe it's Jen.
But while we're on the road of hypocrites, you always said how you hated that people stayed on their electronics all the time. At your party, there was multiple times where I said, "Lets talk," or something similar. But you and Jen were on your tablets all day. I can't wait until you start staying on your tablet so much.
And also, you were telling Brandon that "everyone always pays attention to Chris instead of you." Well what did you expect me to do to him? Ignore him? I can relate to him much. My brother never wanted me around, and all I wanted was to hand around with him because he was my idol. I know boys have a different mind, but that doesn't mean he isn't hurting. And honestly, I don't see why he couldn't stay with us. I like making friends with my friends siblings. It's what I do. And if that's a problem between us, then so be it. I help everyone I can.
I hope this makes you realize things.
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