A little fucking bucket of rage

Here is your wake-up call.

I'm sick and tired of you saying that you're fine all the damn time. How about you realize that people fucking care about you. Do you WANT people to whisper and assume what's wrong? Because people are blaming themselves for YOUR sadness because you can't tell your damn friends what's wrong. "Nothing :)" Really. Then you're crying for no god damn reason. Because people cry when nothings wrong. That's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard.

When you do this, I honestly have no clue if you are actually sad, or if you just want pity. I know how awful your life is, but you can't just be going around saying nothing is wrong. That's just as bad as people saying what's wrong all the damn time.

If someone actually is close to recognize something is wrong, and your pretending your fine; you should at least say that you aren't. Even if you won't tell them what it is.

I know I'm being rude, but I tried to be nice with you for how many times? A. LOT. This is your wake up call. How are your friends supposed to help you if we have no idea what the hell is wrong with you?! And don't you even dare apologize. I don't want to hear you saying sorry. Every time you say sorry, I want five dollars. I'm serious. Bring money to school every single day if you plan on apologizing. I just want you to promise that you will fucking tell people that something is wrong.

If you cry, everyone will ask you what's wrong. So what's the point of saying nothing. If you cut, everyone will ask you what's wrong. And if I'm the only one who fucking notices that something's wrong before you show it publicly, then so be it. I don't even think about it anymore. I'm not going to keep bugging you about it if you tell me that 'nothing' is fucking wrong.

You always said you wanted someone to be your number one friend, and I hope you actually knew that I was your number one friend in sixth grade, but you picked Andi so much more. Then we started talking in eighth grade, and I was again. But you were too busy trying to get as many acquaintances as you could, that you practically disregarded me at some times. And I realize that you "don't get to talk to them after school," but honestly, if you wanted someone to be your closest friend, you have to freakin' commit to them the MOST. Maybe you have one, maybe it's Jen.

But while we're on the road of hypocrites, you always said how you hated that people stayed on their electronics all the time. At your party, there was multiple times where I said, "Lets talk," or something similar. But you and Jen were on your tablets all day. I can't wait until you start staying on your tablet so much.

And also, you were telling Brandon that "everyone always pays attention to Chris instead of you." Well what did you expect me to do to him? Ignore him? I can relate to him much. My brother never wanted me around, and all I wanted was to hand around with him because he was my idol. I know boys have a different mind, but that doesn't mean he isn't hurting. And honestly, I don't see why he couldn't stay with us. I like making friends with my friends siblings. It's what I do. And if that's a problem between us, then so be it. I help everyone I can.

I hope this makes you realize things.

Ow my leg hurts :<

So I'm lying here
And my leg hurts
Badly
Like
It's pain
Everywhere

It feels like the bone
Is having cramps
And may be on it's period

Idk

But
It hurts
So

April 15th, 2013

Wow, it's been forever since I posted a 'life' post. Hm. Well I guess it's because there has been hardly ANY shit happening! One second it's all there, and the next it's gone!

But I can't say the same for one of my friends; who is probably the only one reading this. She's under a lot of shit because of someone else.

I mean, I never trusted that person; she was always a drama queen and stuff. And honestly, it pisses me off when we tell her our inside jokes. Like no- they are OUR inside jokes. Not hers.

But there's not much I can do; all I can really say is 'don't trust her'.

See, I'm not stupid. I can tell when people talk behind my back, and even my mom picked up on it.

The Drama Queen tells one person that she wished me and my closest buddy weren't hanging with them.

And if one thing my closest buddy says accidentally ticks off the other person, that person tells The Drama Queen.

Like come on. The other person said she wanted it to be us three. I didn't think The Drama Queen was involved with the three.

I don't know.

Anywho, it's hard without Hayden and Kayden. I always counted on them for my happiness and protection, and I feel like I'm in the middle of a war with no shield or armor. FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE. I dunno.

I'm really just waiting for that one person to come over and just hate everyone I hate.

And, it's stupid, I know, but I actually expect that to happen. .-. I can /tell/ when people are back-stabbing or plan to. I get vibes. .-.

It's creepy as fuck, and it sucks knowing that shit is going on and not being able to do anything.

Oh well.
How bad can this become?

But something big is coming back.
And it's going to be a war between us four.

Let's not be stupid..

Wattpad

It's just a little app I have. It's really nice. There is also a computer site, so yeah.

I have been really addicted to the following:

"Vanilla" by leigh_
"Saving Elliot" by northbynorth

-and-

"Life As Told By Nerdy" by Tsubame



They are all romance.. Just..
Leave me here to become one with the Romance Teen Fiction stuff. Since it is teen rated, there aren't sex scenes. .-. I never read that stuff.

But they are so cute.

Vanilla is adorable. There's a girl namd Flo, who meets a boy named Daniel. Flo moved from London, to the small town. There are only a few teens there, and there seems to be conflict between one girl, Flo and Daniel.
"You shouldn't underestimate the simplicity of vanilla..."

-

Saving Elliot is another example of a perfectly written story. It's basically about two main characters. Elliot Jenson, and later in the story, Elliot Fintry. But as they fight and argue, it's hard for Jenson to deny her feelings. But does Fintry like her back? Good question. Guess you'll just have to find out.

-

Life As Told By Nerdy.
Ohmaigawd, this is just perfect. This is maybe the best story I have ever read. Just when you think the plot is going to stay the same, something happens!! I'm only on chapter 18 and I'm hooked. The characters that I find important are; Sarah/Nerdy, Becky, Leonard, aaaaaannnd. Matt. LOOKIE! I didn't spoil. BAHAHAHAHA. I love autocorrect. Alrighty. Just read it. So cute.
So.
Cute.
{ EDIT }
Okay so I have been staying up late every night to read this story and I have finally finished. That was like.. The best book ever. I loved it to an extent of love that cannot be denied. Hot damn. I mean it was so cute. I cried a lot actually, but mainly happy tears.